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MY CONVERSATION WITH GOD

"THE TRUTH ALWAYS FINDS A WAY TO REVEAL ITSELF "

Satan fighting God

For the longest time I questioned my existence., the reasons for my trials and tribulations, the story behind the many synchronous events in my life to those on the world stage. I have many questions, oh so many questions…

So I turn to my Heavenly Father for some answers…. 

Me: You had instructed me write Testament, saying that it would help put my life in perspective, to answer some of my most fundamental questions regarding my existence, my being. I thank you dear Heavenly Father for giving me the insight, the ability to put down in stone “my testament.” 

Heavenly Father: Yes, my son…and not only is it my intention to provide you with clarity but it is also my intention to reveal “YOU” to those who are seeking a true “friend of humankind” or to those seeking someone they can truly relate to, to help ensure them that they are not alone.

My son, all that I had you go through, the obstacle course, the disappointments, the rejections and dismissals, the hunger, the loneliness… so you can truly feel “humanness” and so you can learn better “humility.”

Me:  I think I really do have a better understanding how it is to be human.  I do have a more profound appreciation for the simple things, the simple acts like kindness , gentleness.  I feel that I have more compassion. I had learned to forgive and I had learned, too, that “forgiveness” is a key to liberation. And I don’t take things for granted as I would maybe if I had lived a sheltered life, a life without needing, a life without feeling the pangs of hunger… 

Heavenly Father: Yes,. my son. You do have a better understanding and yes, your heart beats to the rhythms of “unconditional love.”  

Me: Heavenly Father, I want to better understand the many, many so-called synchronicities of my life to events of major significance in the world. For the longest time I had suffered anxiety and panic attacks because of these synchronicities. I kept asking myself, “Why Me?” or exclaiming “Not again!”  I must tell you Heavenly Father, the evil events that took place and my connection to them had me believing at times, that maybe I was an Evil One. Please Heavenly Father, please give me greater understanding. 

Heavenly Father: Let me assure you, my son, that you are NOT an “evil one.” You are of Goodness, have always been of Goodness, though at times, you did stray a bit but again, that is because of your “humanness.” Yes at times, you had fallen to temptation but these were only momentary lapses. 

Me: Firstly, I do believe that it was because of YOU and your MIGHTY POWER that I was stopped from killing myself in 1992,  And to know that Hurricane Iniki did not cause any deaths helped to provide me some solace.  See “Caught in the Eyes of the Hurricane.” 

Heavenly Father: Yes, my son – on the date of September 11, 1992 the “winds of fate” saved you from going through with your plans of leaving EARTH. I had and continue to have plans for you on EARTH – to be one of my loyal SERVANTS.

Me: Heavenly Father, I am truly honored and grateful. Heavenly Father, today is April 8 and in eight days it will be April 16 – the birthday of my beloved Aunt Dorothy and the anniversary of that terrible mass shooting at Virginia Tech.

See IN REMEMBRANCE OF MY BELOVED AUNT DOROTHY

Now, my dearest Heavenly Father, can you help me understand the concrete connection of this horrendous act to me, my dear Aunt Dorothy – and why? This event alone had caused me great anxieties which in turn, had hindered my forward progress for a while and I believe caused me to relapse into heavy alcoholic drinking and homelessness. 

Heavenly Father: My son, remember the Devil hates you. He despises the ground you walk on. He will do whatever it takes to trip you up. Again, because of your humanness you will, at times, fall to the whims of the world.

Now, such an evil act was committed on April 16, 2007. The Devil had it planned in a way that he wanted You to become aware of his hatred for you. The dates, the dorm room number of the mass killer the same as the address of Aunt Dorothy – signs that he wanted you to become aware of, so you will be reminded how much he hates you. And he wanted nothing more than you fall to your knees for him, to become his servant, to break the alliance you have with ME.  But I have much more power than him, thus I will never let go of you … You are my son, my loyal earthly servant. 

Now too my dear son, events like what happened at Virginia Tech on April 16, 2007 are in many ways, representative of what’s wrong in the world. I love the verses you wrote concerning the mass shooter.

You describe very well how the bullied becomes the bully, how the victim becomes the perpetrator…. Although what happened on that fateful day was the most horrendous, the most vile it did shed some light on the darkness.

Me: And what about my connection to O.J. Simpson and the murders he committed against Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman on June 12, 1994?

See Justice – Divine Intervention

Heavenly Father: My son, some of the same reasons as above. But also, you yourself bore witness to domestic violence when you were very young. And the verse you wrote on the page “A Proposal Left Unanswered” really brings to the forefront the reality of domestic violence and abuse.

And you had did what I instructed: Draft a letter to OJ Simpson, pleading for him to “come clean” and with his position in the limelight, could help open eyes to domestic abuse and violence and most likely save lives. 

Me: Yes, Heavenly Father and he ignored the plea and carried on with his arrogance, his ridiculing others including the Goldman family. Well, on my birthday September 13, 2007 he committed the crime which landed him in prison this time… for nine years.

And the day he was released Oct. 1, 2017 he went to Las Vegas and that very same night, a madman at the Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas opened fire on the concert goers across the street, killing 58 and injuring more than 500. 

See ‘Paddock, Bump Stock”

Continue after the video

Heavenly Father: And you do remember that on that fateful day of July 9,1993 when you were touched by me after being misunderstood by your family and told by your mother that you were the evil one … I told you, assured you that you were very much loved and that you will overcome the ridicule and the hurt.

And to prove that you are of the Good, not of the Evil, I used this date of July 9 to not only send my angel Akiana to Earth but in contrast show your mother what constitutes evil and yes, July 9 is the birthday of O.J. Simpson. 

Me: Heavenly Father, as you know my mother became enrapt with the OJ Trial. I would come and visit, and together we would watch the trial.

That trial brought us closer than ever before. I remember how she listened intently to my views on the case and how she seemed to always agree with me unlike times past when she would disagree with me on about everything  and put me down. 

And dearest Heavenly Father, I am so very grateful that you had touched me and reawakened me back in 2009 when I was living in the homeless shelter Wayside Cross Ministries. 

See: Deeply I Climb

And how that Christmas Eve when I went to visit my mother in the hospital and met Josephine. And to find out that her husband who died of a brain aneurysm has the same birthday  as me –September 13, tell me Heavenly Father, did you bring me and Josephine together?

Heavenly Father: Yes. And Josephine, who suffered so much abuse and torment by her stepfather, and after she finally escaped his clutch and took that train to Chicago when she was 18 years old , and to go on and become not only a nurse but a true “friend to humankind,” yes my son, I put you and her together.


Me: I am so forever grateful, dear Heavenly Father.

 

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